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Monday, March 30, 2009

Today’s Show




We start off today’s show with…


“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. A beautiful morning, I tell you what, it’s a nice day. After all the rain we had over the weekend, it is a fantastic day”, said the Uncle after playing an angry voice message. “I’ll talk a bit about the Herman Thomas thing and the antics of the performance artist ‘Cowboy Bob’ Clark”, said the Uncle before summoning the show’s call screener with his theme music. “Have you been on stage as an actor?” the Uncle asked Trey Lane. “I haven’t been on a stage in a long, long time”, Trey answered. “I know I pulled you out on the air”, said the Uncle. “You would be a good judge of really anyone’s performance—you have been performing on stage”, according to the Uncle. “I have audio tape of WKRG news on Friday with Jessica Taloney”, said the Uncle, who pronounced the reporter’s name “TA-lo-nay”. “Now I had to substitute a last sound effect (a squeak), I had to cut that off”, said the Uncle in reference to the word “bastard” in the audio clip. “Don’t you say it! Don’t you push the envelope!” our host shouted at the screener. “It’s a real curse word”, said Trey. “No use pushing it, it’s Monday and I don’t want you pushing the envelope”, said the Uncle before typing the vulgar word for Trey Lane. “I guess I have to use an Uncle Henry hand sanitizer”, said the Uncle after admitting “I hate to even type that word”. “So now you heard the lyn—the high-tech lynching”, said the Uncle. “I can’t believe this story is getting more interesting”, said Trey. “It’s just like having Robin Williams being the lawyer”, said the Uncle. “It’s just like having Angry Santa as a lawyer”, the Uncle continued, along with a comparison of Bob Clark to “an angry Yosemite Sam”. “I just think this blossoms into something we really appreciate as [a performance art]”, said Trey. “That is counterproductive as a government for you to—“, said the Uncle. “I understand that you enjoy the absurd, but that is something else”, he said as the call screener returned to his work post. “And there he goes. Trey Lane”, said the Uncle. “We need different professionalists from different radio stations trying to distract Trey Lane from call screening”, the Uncle suggested before speaking to this hour’s first caller. “I’m sorry, but do we want someone that doesn’t vote his conscience, doesn’t vote his [way], and doesn’t vote on the will of the people”, our first caller said about Josiah (Jo) Bonner of the House of Representatives in Washington, D. C. “I think it’s time for us to start talking and start walking, Uncle Henry”, the caller suggested before leaving us. “I can’t remember the challenger’s name, but there is a challenger (in Baldwin County)”, said the Uncle. “You mentioned Steve Nodine—Steve, the one calls in on the show”, said the Uncle, who also suggested the late Steve Irwin. “Do you have a Steve?” the Uncle asked Trey Lane, “I don’t think you do. Ah ha! Well, that was not very competitive in the world of Steve. (251) 479-2723 is the number. The Uncle Henry Show continues”. After the break for commercials and a couple of voice messages, including an angry one, “All right! All right, enough! All right, look! Don’t tell me you listened to the show Friday and that I condone that Barbara Stanwyk [obsession]”, said the Uncle, who was responding to the ridiculous recorded message he just played. “You just need to find other things, you need to sit down with some Scripture”, said the Uncle. “The people that are on TV, they don’t know you”, the Uncle continued. “They’re not someone you know, it’s a picture on a screen”, said the Uncle. “By the way, L. D., the angry trucker, has another political endorsement, here is a—yes, an endorsement”, said the Uncle before playing another voice message from this angry caller. “All right, so L. D. endorsing Ron Wallace. Ron Wallace getting the angry trucker vote”, said the Uncle. “Thomas Sullivan was defeated three and a half years ago”, our host reminded L. D. about the former Mobile City Council member. “Ron Wallace—I believe Ron Wallace is running against Clinton Johnson and another lady—I believe another lady is running”, said the Uncle. “I’m sure Ron Wallace’s very excited to have an endorsement from you. I’m sure he wants you on your website”, he told L. D. “You can be ‘L. D. the Trucker’ ”, the Uncle suggested. “We’ll get word from Ron Wallace to see if he wants you on the endorsement”, the Uncle concluded. “Now this week we’re going to have the single largest federal tax increase on cigarettes in history”, the Uncle announced. “If you’re a smoker, Wednesday is your day”, the Uncle explained. “Now this per pack tax is going to go from 39 cents to a dollar and one cent”, said the Uncle. “Now all this money is going to go to health insurance, expanding health insurance”, the Uncle continued. “Again, I don’t get this because the official [who] has just raised the tax on cigarettes had a need for the money”, said the Uncle. “If they’re successful if you get quit, then they want have a need for the money”, the Uncle continued. “And there are, believe it or not, people putting policy together that tobacco taxes should even be higher. They should even be higher”, the Uncle mentioned. “[Smokers] getting tied into it no matter what”, our host supposed. “It’s just idiotic in my opinion”, the Uncle concluded. “There is a meeting tonight. The American Republic Group—now these people have gotten to me before”, said the Uncle. “Tea party-type people and they are having a meeting tonight at the Mobile Public Library tonight on Grelot Road”, the Uncle continued. “Bring a friend, because there are only 50 parking spaces available. I guess they’re worried about overflow”, said the Uncle. “Michelle, if you’re listening, there is a special request for you to be there”, he said to one particular listener. “One conservative woman wanting to meet another conservative mom”, our host described the invitation before mentioning another meeting tonight. “So those of you interested in District 22, the three republicans running”, said the Uncle, are having a meeting tonight at 7:00. “News time is 9:30”, he said before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

“Thank you for the report. Have to look into this”, said the Uncle in response to a listener’s voice message. “Let’s talk to Mike. Hello Mike”, said the Uncle. “I’d love to support our friends over in Mobile, but I happen to live in Baldwin County”, said Mike. “I want to leave my name and number for friends I want to support in Baldwin County”, Mike continued. “I don’t know of any tea party event in Baldwin County”, said the Uncle. “Let’s talk to Teddie. Hello Teddie”, he said to the next caller. “You can possibly have a show with Trey Lane and discipline him”, said Teddie. “No, that’s not right”, said the Uncle. “He’s too old to be corrected. Life corrects him”, the Uncle continued. “Once they’re old, you don’t paddle them anymore”, said the Uncle. “Once you work for a corporation, you don’t do that”, the Uncle continued. “Now at a locally-owned business, they might have that paddling someone”, according to the Uncle “Thank you”, Teddie concluded her call. “I know there are some questions about—what they call caning”, said the Uncle. “We don’t do that here”, the Uncle concluded. “Let’s talk to Bob. Hello Bob”, he said to the next caller. “This cigarette tax thing, this should make everybody mad whether you smoke or dealt with cigars”, said Bob. “You want what’s going on and that’s what’s going on with just about every business out there”, according to Bob. “Are you going to quit smoking?” the Uncle asked. “That’s getting a bit too expensive for me”, said Bob, who might “have to” quit smoking. “It’s a chain reaction that’s just going to happen just like the automotive industry”, said Bob. “Just difficult for people to make a decent, honest living”, Bob continued. “Taxing us to the third world”, said the Uncle. “This is not just for philanthropic reasons, it’s for greed”, said Bob. “What about coffee?” the Uncle asked, causing Bob to laugh. “I’m serious!” the Uncle added. “Let’s just tax caffeine out of business. Coca-Cola”, said Bob. “Tax cattle flatulence”, Bob suggested. “We need a whole [change] to this government. We need to vote all the dogs out”, said Bob before leaving us. “When you go to a big business meeting and they pull out a big box of cigarettes and say, ‘Look, I’ve got a big box of Marlboros’ ”, said the Uncle, who was describing a hypothetical situation. “Uncle Henry Show continues”, he said before the break for commercials. After the break and a voice message, “Well, Bill, yes, it is wrong because Hop-Sing is not a real person. I want you to sit back and think about this. You are thinking about fishing with a fictional character”, said the Uncle in response to the listener’s recorded message. “I would love to hear your dream dinner party with Hop-Sing, Helen from ‘The Andy Griffith Show’ and anyone else you called in about—and of course Crockett and Freddie”, said the Uncle before speaking to caller Gerald. “I just wanted to know if he was one of the ones that voted against the tea party on the battleship?” Gerald asked about Herman Thomas. “And about a tea party in Baldwin County, well, there are people working on it right now and they were suppose to call you about it on Wednesday”, said Gerald. “So another tea party spread out—people are mad about this government spending and planning another tea party”, said the Uncle. “Keep me updated on it, Gerald”, he told the previous caller. “Maybe they’ll send Jene Young out there, do the weather out there from the tea party”, said the Uncle. “He was such a member of the community, now there’s no telling how many boards he’s on”, he said about Herman Thomas. “Now how did that get built, I wonder? Who approved of the construction of the special spanking office?” he asked before the break. After the final break for today and an angry, mean-spirited, and evil voice message, followed by a completely opposite voice message, “Uncle Henry Show concluding here on NewsRadio 710”, said the Uncle. “Have time for another phone call for something you want to get off your chest”, he told listeners. “Tea party mania is sweeping the nation as people are fed up with [federal] spending”, said the Uncle before sharing another “economic story”. “WWE says we are tracking well against the economy, we are pleased with how we perform. So they have all these events they are doing with WWE are selling out”, said the Uncle. “People are spending up to $775. Can you imagine spending [all that money] on wrestling?” the Uncle continued. “Right now, my imagination fails to tell me—no, not the Osmonds, Trey Lane”, said the Uncle. “And this is a real, alleged sourced news story in the Business Journal”, the Uncle cited. “Again, there is no event on Earth that I would pay to see that I’m willing to pay $775 to see”, said the Uncle. “What kind of a lunatic fan is this?” the Uncle asked. “I’m not criticizing wrestling or wrestling fans, but my mind is just blown”, the Uncle admitted. “All right, out of time for the show. It’s a pleasure talking to you today”, said the Uncle. “Terrific line-up, we’ve got Rush Limbaugh, whose audience has been doing best, then we have ‘The Glenn Beck Program’ ”, the Uncle mentioned. “I think we’ve a couple of Mobile callers in the last two Jason Lewis shows”, according to the Uncle. “Please call in”, he encouraged listeners of the aforementioned program “When you’re in doubt of what to do or when you’re not in doubt, read your Bible”, he said at the end of the show.

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets a 5/10!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Today’s Show




We start off today’s show with…


“Uncle Henry Show in progress. Uncle Henry here to give you—thank you for listening to the Uncle Henry Show. 479-2723, that’s 251 479-2723. You may communicate with me [by] e-mail at unclehenry@newsradio710.com”, said the Uncle after playing a listener’s ridiculous voice message. “I appreciate the feedback from those that are technologically advanced such as the Blackberry user”, the Uncle admitted. “I have heard many complaints about the postal service throughout my life, but I have been blessed at every post office I’ve visited in my life”, the Uncle remembered. “I enjoy meeting and learning about these mail carriers”, the Uncle continued. “And I agree with you, ‘Idea Guy’, that we are at the end of an era”, he said to the voice message caller in reference to the postal service. “The entire way we see energy in this country, I see that [changing]”, said the Uncle. “They’re out there, they’re polluting and what are they out there delivering? Murdered trees”, according to the Uncle. “And these trees being murdered callously so people can tear up the tree flesh”, the Uncle continued. “All these murdered trees being delivered by the polluters, I don’t see how this can be continued under the current (energy) crisis”, said the Uncle. “I can see Monday, Wednesday, Friday delivery”, the Uncle predicts. “It’ll be just the same when people had phones with cords. Do you remember—do you even have a phone with a cord?” the Uncle asked the show’s substitute call screener named Phil. “Trey Lane is out on [personal] business”, the Uncle mentioned about the regular call screener. “I’m glad you brought that up, ‘Idea Guy’, before we get to the phones, I want to get to a couple of news items”, said the Uncle. “Lagniappe—the Lagniappe pamphlet fast gathering credibility in the Mobile area”, the Uncle cited. “The grand jury has been meeting all this week and taking testimony this week [on] Judge Herman Thomas, the alleged paddler”, the Uncle continued. “It is not known how long the grand jury will be in town”, said the Uncle. “Let’s talk to Jim. Hello Jim, good morning”, he said to this hour’s first caller. “Old Spanky-Mae Thomas, huh?” said Jim in reference to the judge mentioned by our host. “Allegedly”, the Uncle responded before Jim changed the subject. “Pintos don’t attract women, Jim”, the Uncle responded. “Henry, I really am having chest pains”, said Jim. “What should I do?” Jim asked after telling our host he’s serious. “You are a Christian, you have indicated in previous voice mails that you are a Christian. You have standards”, said the Uncle. “The only answer to this kind of stress is a lot of prayer”, the Uncle suggested. “For every news item you read and every news item that you hear, you need an equal amount of Scripture, an equal amount of faith-based prayer”, the Uncle continued. “Ok. I appreciate that”, Jim responded “All right, he hung up. Hope he was [not] discouraged by my comment”, said the Uncle after Jim left us. “Your brain—all the stuff that you input in your brain sticks in there”, said the Uncle. “It bounces around in your sub-conscience. If you spend your day with 90% garbage and 10% negative, you have a negative imbalance”, the Uncle continued. “Let’s talk to J. J. Hello J. J.”, said the Uncle. “Uncle Henry, you are absolutely right about the Bible”, said J. J. before changing the subject. “Now you, sir, this is almost like I’m listening to myself . I agree with you”, said the Uncle. “You almost don’t have to listen to what I say”, our host told J. J. “He wants to think outside the constitution for a reworking of American life”, he said in agreement about the president of the USA before the break for commercials. After the break and a voice message, “Well K. P., all I say is that between 8:00 and 10:00, you don’t have to hear it”, the Uncle suggested before the next caller. “Your last caller, well, you thought that were listening to yourself talk. Well, it’s good you don’t have to listen to yourself talk”, said our next caller. “Does that mean that 52% of Americans are now socialist?” the caller asked after the last presidential election. “I think that’s a big hurdle to jump, Henry, when it goes back to capitalism”, said the caller. “Just turn to the Bible but us as Americans the constitution hasn’t been written for something like that. I guess we need a balance between the constitution and the Bible”, according to the caller. “I lot of people that listen to radio stations like this are involved (in politics)”, said the Uncle. “The vast majority of people don’t pay attention as much as we do”, according to the Uncle. “Let’s talk to Doyle. Hello Doyle”, he said to the next caller. “We wouldn’t be as much in debt as we are”, said Doyle, if a parrot were elected president of the USA. “I still don’t understand if the constitution would allow an animal as president”, said the Uncle. “We have a donkey as president”, said Doyle. “He’s still a human being”, the Uncle responded. “The constitution matters more when we have an animal”, said the Uncle. “That sounds like a 1950s movie—a 1950s movie where a parrot somehow” is elected president of the United States, according to the Uncle. “Let’s talk to the Theodore Astronaut”, he said before the next caller spoke. “I would love Cutt to meet Freddie. I think that would be an incredible, incredible battle”, said “The Theodore Astronaut” in reference to two frequent callers to the show. “You mean an intellectual battle?” the Uncle asked. “That’s what it’s about really when we get to the [footstool] of our country”, our next caller Bob said about the Bible. “So God has really turned his back on America, really”, said Bob. “So I hope they really get up on their knees and repent”, Bob suggested to unidentified folks. “I hate to cut you short”, our host told Bob near the break for news, commercials, and station promotions. “Thank you very much, Bob, for your phone call. Uncle Henry Show continues”, said the Uncle.

“Uncle Henry Show continues”, said the Uncle before responding to a voice message from a listener. “Don’t ever do that again. Don’t ever call in again with some evil contentation on ‘Bonanza’ ”, said the Uncle. “That show was one of the best shows on television of all-time”, the Uncle continued. “Excellent actor, David Canary”, said the Uncle. “His last name was ‘Canaday’ and I remember several women”, the Uncle continued. “I remember several episodes between Mr. Cartwright and Little Joe’s mom”, said the Uncle. “Here you are throwing the [cocktail] at my memories of ‘Bonanza’ and I don’t appreciate it”, he told the voice message caller. “Good morning, Uncle Henry”, said our next caller Ed. “You know I’ve been listening to you for several years”, said Ed, who admitted he “stopped listening because of two of the people called in”. “There’s a word in the Bible for that: Jackass”, Ed continued. “For your concern, it’s a great show”, Ed mentioned. “Why thank you!” the Uncle responded. “You see, now Crockett, look what you’ve done, look what you’ve done. Tried to take you under the wing of the show”, said the Uncle, who was speaking directly to the voice message caller again. “Come up with some comments on ‘Bonanza’ of all things and alienated a listener, alienated the host”, the Uncle continued. “Talking about the Cartwrights and candy (Candy Canaday)”, the Uncle concluded. “He must have watched a lot of ‘Bonanza’ ”, according to our next caller Dave. “So his comments he made were a complete reflection of Crockett”, according to Dave. “I hope future attempts (at humor) don’t involve anything about the Cartwrights”, said the Uncle. “You know, I watched the final episode last night of the ‘Band of Brothers’, you know, the World War II movie”, said the Dave. “And a lot of people wonder what those people would say”, according to Dave. “We don’t really know”, said Dave. “We don’t know if God has turned his back because there are an awful lot of Americans, such as myself and [probably] you. We have made some mistakes”, said Dave. “We don’t know until America is gone. America has been on the floor in some situations”, Dave continued. “This is a country that I still believe God loves and if the right party was in party”, said Dave, God would love it even more. “It’s not too late to ask and pray about it, it’s not too late to do what we should do is fight for God and not be afraid to do it”, according to Dave. “So we should keep doing it and not think about it (negatively)”, said Dave before leaving us. “Thank you very much, Dave. Excellent phone call”, said the Uncle. “It’s very rare that I talk about the universe. Sometimes I do, but it’s very rare”, the Uncle admitted. “We do know that the universe operates—works in a certain way because we sow”, said the Uncle. “I’ve been taught that you reap what you sow”, the Uncle remembers, as ‘it really boils down to reaping what you sow” even after other folks were taught differently. After the break for commercials, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Let’s talk to George. Hello there, George. George, good morning”, said the Uncle. “First of all, at the risk of upsetting you, I love to hear Crockett when he calls in, I love his opinions”, said George. “Hold on just a second, I wasn’t even close to stating my piece”, said George, who used his machine gun sound effects as usual. “I apologize”, the Uncle responded. “Let me tell you, we are all not puritans like you or trying to be puritans and I have no desire to be a puritan”, said George. “I don’t think it was savage (attack on ‘Bonanza’), that’s just your opinion”, according to George. “I realize that we have been blessed. Now, I think a lot of Americans that have abandoned God and some of them have never believed in God in the first place”, said George. “There is something out there in the future that is going to happen in this country and I pray that God can so something for this country”, George continued. “But the story and the situation are not over and I don’t see doom and gloom”, said George. “I’ve been hearing this for so, so long and it’s ridiculous”, said George, as the “world is not coming to an end”. “Hey, man, we are not that bad. I want to hear some upbeat talking”, said George. “Sell the positive end”, George suggested. “Sell the beauty of life”, George continued. “What is the end of this lesson?” George asked, “I really—I have to look hard”. “Man, this country is doing fine”, said George. “I’ll sign off”, George concluded his call. “We can talk positively about ‘Bonanza’ which was a beloved show in this country from the 1960s to the 1970s”, said the Uncle. “We can talk positively about that and not talk negatively about that and I’m shocked that someone would call in and say they admit that they want to hear” the positive and the negative, the Uncle continued. “Did you know that, Phil?” he asked the show’s call screener, “Did you even know what ‘Bonanza’ was? Dan Blocker had a Master’s degree”. After the final break for today, the theme music from the TV program “Jonny Quest” was used as bumper music. “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710 we’ll be concluding the program is just a minute”, said the Uncle before speaking to caller Anna. “It was touching last evening on FOX News, I think it was the O’Reilly Factor”, said Anna as she recalled “two young ladies” on the TV program. “It’s about the Catholic Church’s stance on abortion and they think it’s right that he (the president of the USA) should not speak there (a university)”, said Anna. “It’s not because he’s black or white or yellow or whatever, it’s about his stance”, Anna continued. “I thought that was refreshing”, she said before changing the subject. “They are all ready talking about, I believe, billions of dollars on what they call volunteer programs and a lot of this is going to programs like Acorn”, said the Uncle in response to Anna. “Remember to pray, pray for others, and when you’re doubt of what to do, you can find all the answers [in your] Bible”, he reminded listeners. “Read it”, he said at the end of the show.

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets a 7/10!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Today’s Show




We start off today’s show with…


“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Partly cloudy to cloudy skies. 68 degrees”, said the Uncle. “Calling in with your hopes and dreams”, he said before reminding listeners how to contact him. “Let’s talk to Ben. Hello Ben, good morning”, said the Uncle. “How is the number one southern gentleman in Mobile, Alabama today?” Ben asked our host before bringing to our attention Frances Coleman of the Press-Register. “She refuses to print a correction and the truth concerning Mobile County”, said Ben in reference to the writer’s weekly column. “I have wondered they (Porch Creek Indians) have just saturated the news/talk stations with this”, said the Uncle. “Same is happening to the commercials about tax and bingo machines”, said Ben. “Thirdly, you know the scary thing about Freddie to me is that every time I hear his voice I believe the people that are running this country agree more with him”, said Ben, who was referring to a frequent caller to the show. “I believe it will someday be possible to use DNA”, said Ben, to detect welfare recipients before using abortion. “That’s a joke, of course”, said Ben. “That’s a frightening prospect”, said the Uncle. “Well thank you”, he told Ben, “I appreciate your phone call today on this very topic. I’m glad you brought up the commercials about the Indians—how wonderful the Indians are”. “I don’t know what exactly it will be in the Legislature, but it’s been several times an hour that we have these things pop up and each time I get furious”, the Uncle admitted. “It is 9:10, ten minutes after 9:00 here on NewsRadio 710, Uncle Henry Show”, the Uncle reminded listeners. “A health story that I feel I’ve got to mention because it’s talked about something that I really like and that is red meat”, the Uncle began. “If you eat this everyday for 10 years—if you eat this everyday for 10 years you have a 22 percent higher rate of dying from cancer and a 27 percent chance of dying from heart disease”, said the Uncle. “If you eat a quarter-pounder, if you eat a quarter-pound hamburger everyday”, said the Uncle, you have a higher risk of dying. “I do like the idea of eating a quarter-pounder everyday”, said the Uncle, all though he never tried the challenge. “479-2723 is the number here at NewsRadio 710 as the Uncle Henry Show continues”, he reminded listeners before the break for commercials. After the break and a voice message, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Telephone number is 479-2723. Let’s talk to Gary. Hello Gary. Hello Gary! All right, Gary has stepped away from the phone for whatever reason. Let’s talk to Tommy. Hello Tommy”, said the Uncle. “Roll Tide Roll”, said Tommy before sharing his theory about the president of the USA. “That is an interesting theory that he stays away from the White House so that he can be on a smoke break”, said the Uncle before Tommy laughed “Oh, by the way, I’ve noticed bumper stickers are getting longer”, said the Uncle. “The amount of words people want to put on them, [people want] to put a complete paragraph on them”, the Uncle continued. “Your previous caller, he needs to come on more often”, said our next caller before changing the subject. “It’s about the Ladd Stadium thing, the Senior Bowl—well, they’ve got a new contract”, said the caller. “All those that want to do away with our constitution can go down there and make their claims come true. Have you heard anything about the sales tax debate over in Montgomery”, said the caller. “I believe they’re still fighting over it (the grocery tax)”, the Uncle responded. “I really think—pray when I think about my great, great grandchildren”, said the caller. “Speaking of that, there is a story in the Press-Register today, in the ‘Sports’ section about Coach (Nick) Saban. Here’s the headline, ‘Saban Reaches Boiling Point’ ”, said the Uncle. “So he was made because the players are sensitive to being reprimanded. I thought that was always coaches did with players. I can’t imagine a player getting to the college level and being sensitive”, the Uncle continued. “Tell K. P. it’s a big rain forest and it’s going to take a while to cut it all”, said our next caller Paul in response to a listener’s recorded message. “You know let’s not try to be irritated and paranoid as most of your callers are”, Paul suggested before leaving us. “I just found out that we, those of us that are dunderhead, the definition of a dunderhead is dunce”, said the Uncle. “Would you consider yourself a dunderhead?” the Uncle asked caller Tim, who is also known as Sam Marston IV. “What about you”, Tim asked. “Well, sometimes”, said the Uncle, who considers himself “ignorant” on occasions. “Look, have you read about the air force giving money to these people that live close to the airport?” Tim asked. “You know, I used to live near the airport and I never got a dime”, said the Uncle. “Every time a plane flew over, my TV reception would be destroyed”, said the Uncle.

Today’s 9:00 AM half-hour gets a 6/10!

Note of Interest:

Folks, due to the political content of Wednesday's show, posting will resume on Thursday. Good day!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Today’s Show




We start off today’s show with…


“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Beautiful morning, it’s 59 degrees, fair skies”, said the Uncle before reminding listeners how to contact him by telephone. “That’s 479-2723 or 251 479-2723. Toll-free number set up for listener interaction around the country is 1-888-360-WNTM. Let’s talk to Michael”, he said before this hour’s first caller. After Michael left us, “I saw the story in the paper yesterday about how—this story in the Sunday paper about how the economy has been so rough on the illegal alien(s) and I find it interesting how the reporter got in [touch] with the illegal aliens”, said the Uncle. “Let’s talk to Joe”, he said before the next caller spoke. “All right you’re starting your call off on a terrible note trying to insult the University of Alabama football coach”, our host told Joe. “Oh, you want to counteract a request (by frequent voice message caller ‘Neocon Ron’)”, said the Uncle. “They enjoyed the ‘Neocon Ron’ song, yes”, the Uncle continued. “Don’t do that to me, Uncle Henry”, said Joe. “I’m not going to listen to it!” Joe continued. “Well, you haven’t been burdened”, the Uncle responded. “You have a good day, Uncle Henry!” said Joe before leaving us. “Let’s talk to Michelle. Hello Michelle”, said the Uncle. “It’s such a beautiful day in lower Alabama!” said Michelle. “Yes, it is!” the Uncle responded before the caller promoted a meeting. “Is that of interest to you?” Michelle asked our host. “It’s of big interest to anyone listening to the show. Where is the meeting being held?” said the Uncle. “We need all good hearts and minds together”, said Michelle. “We have people living in fear of losing their homes”, Michelle continued. “We’re the Homeowners-Hurricane Insurance Initiative and we have a website”, said Michelle. “What is the website?” the Uncle asked. “We work through the churches because we want the Lord through this”, said Michelle. “All right that’s Wednesday the 31st and you gave out the address”, said the Uncle. “All right, I’m willing to give you more mentions on this because I know a lot of people that want to go through this”, according to the Uncle. “It’s America! There are some solutions out there”, said Michelle. “All right, I’m glad there are some [saying] that there are some solutions”, said the Uncle. “Creative and courageous”, she suggested for legislators. “The website HHII.US. Let’s talk to Jim. Hello Jim. Good morning”, said the Uncle. “I also send a big War Eagle”, said Jim, followed by silence before hanging up. “Hello? All right, well that’s—I guess all he wanted to do was the ‘War Eagle’ ”, said the Uncle. “That made his day”, he said before speaking to caller Rod. “There’s two things people need to be aware of—personally, the government has laws against protestors”, said Rod. “There are times when people have peacefully assembled to protest something”, Roc continued. “Those people undercover do some unlawful acts like throw a rock through a window” said Rod, who explained it “as part of an attack on some peace assembly people”. “I just thought you want to know that”, Rod admitted. “Thank you very much for your phone call. So the tea party better look after everyone—make sure no one is there with bricks or something like that. 479-2723 is the number. The Uncle Henry Show continues”, said the Uncle before the break for commercials. After the break and a voice message, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. K.P., I understand that a lot of young men don’t like to go to arts and crafts shows”, said the Uncle, who was responding to the listener’s recorded message before speaking to caller Nick. After sharing a story, “That’s one the problems is the groups that don’t obey the law anymore is because they can’t read [the signs]”, said Nick. “As K. P. was dragged to the arts and crafts festival to keep his wife happy”, the Uncle reminded listeners as the call screener’s theme music played. “Are you like K.P. and other men”, the Uncle asked Trey Lane. “I had to nag a woman to get me to the arts and crafts festival”, Trey responded. “That’s a reversal!” said the Uncle. “I used to live in Fairhope and I used to like going to the arts and crafts festival”, said Trey. “There is other art you can tell [where] they’re trying to sell something”, said the Uncle. “Some people really like that and I like a really good—if it’s going to be a sailboat, it’s going to be a sailboat in this area”, the Uncle continued. “Any Uncle Henry Show listeners out after 10 o’clock on a Saturday night at the Seduction Bomb [event]”, he asked Trey Lane. “An old friend of mine is apparently a listener of the Uncle Henry Show”, Trey learned. “Two many parks around here to keep them straight”, said Trey. “This has been another mind bending conversation with Trey Lane”, said the Uncle. “We don’t even have a Municipal Park anymore. It’s Langan Park”, said the Uncle. “I don’t know what the official name is. Maybe it’s Langan-Municipal Park”, the Uncle continued. “Let’s talk to Mark. Hello Mark”, he said to the next caller. “I’m out on the Interstate. People are honking at me. I know I have a bumper sticker where it says, ‘Honk—Honk if you’ve got homeowners insurance’”, said Mark. “Wait, you weren’t listening to the day when he put in a wrong number”, our host told Mark about Trey Lane. “Well, that can happen to anybody”, said Mark. “If you talk to the administrator”, said Mark, who suggested, “Well, I’ll give up a little bit of my cabbage and put it on Trey’s plate”. “That’s an amusing line to end this segment [on]”, said the Uncle before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

Today’s 9:00 AM half-hour gets a 7/10!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Today’s Show




We start off today’s show with…


“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. It’s 9:05, five minutes after 9:00. A beautiful first day of spring here in Mobile”, said the Uncle before reminding listeners how to contact him by telephone. “That’s for the people holding on. Let’s go back to the phones and let’s talk to Bobby. Hello Bobby, good morning”, he said to the first caller, who continued to speak when music was played by mistake for less than a second. “Bobby, your cell phone connection was lost. You made some good points while you were able. (251) 479-2723 is the number. Let’s talk to George. Hello George”, said the Uncle. “I want to say I appreciate the individual who called”, said George in reference to a caller who responded to him yesterday. “Years ago things were brought into my life and my eyes and mind and I swore I never revealed this”, said George. “Well you should!” said the Uncle. “I was just wanting to make sure you think about it before you reveal”, the Uncle explained. “There is nothing in the constitution of the United States that authorizes a judge to have [authority] over one living soul"” said George. "The only power he has over you is your ignorance”, George continued. “I can tell you you can judge both the facts and the laws”, said George. “Let me tell you this: before anyone can be brought to trial”, said George, who later said, “The mission must be obtained from people serving on a grand jury”. “So this was shocking that you were going to reveal?” said the Uncle. “You didn’t understand what I said, Uncle Henry?” George asked. “Oh I thought you were making a personal revelation, I misunderstood completely!” said the Uncle. “Have your fun, Uncle Henry”, George replied in a sarcastic tone of voice. “It’s we the people, we reserve the right, the judge has never reserved the right”, said George. “When you go to grammar school, they never teach you this”, George continued. “They only have the ignorance in your mind, lack of knowledge”, said George. “Make it clear that a judge has no control of you whatsoever”, he said again. “You can read the law yourself. Many lawyers ask yourselves to read the law”, George suggested. “And the only person you can ask yourself is the all mighty God”, George concluded before leaving us. “I remain confused, not by what you said”, said the Uncle before speaking to caller Chad. “Are you saying that in 2008 we had the most babies born ever?” our next caller Chad asked before our host corrected him. “It’s 2007”, said the Uncle. “It did not say anything about illegal aliens”, Chad said about a study of 2007. “I find it odd that it was not mentioned because we have a large birth rate among illegals”, Chad admitted. “That would be a tough case to crack”, the Uncle responded. “About 10,000 babies were born in just that one hospital (in Dallas, Texas)”, said Chad, who referred to the “hospital where JFK was shot” before questioning if Sam Jones, the mayor of Mobile, is in “someway” related to the president of the USA. “That would be a huge story over a year ago”, the Uncle responded. “I think they were so alike”, Chad explained “the reason why I asked that question”, as he put it. “It’s very curious that the Sam Jones is on the board that controls the Senior Bowl and did not know that the Senior Bowl needed more money”, said the Uncle. “Thank you, Chad”, he said before speaking to caller Steve, who explained why he could not attend our host’s remote broadcast yesterday afternoon. “I’ll bring some guests when I come (another time), but anyway isn’t it a great day that the rich are getting poor?” said Steve. “When the rich become poor, the poor die, they starve because it’s the rich giving jobs and paying taxes”, Steve explained. “It seems nobody wants to talk about”, according to Steve. “Yeah, we’re all going to be poor. We’re going to be standing in the bread line like in Soviet Russia”, said Steve. “I’m expecting a Rush Limbaugh tax any day now. Steve, I hate to cut you short, but we’re on a break now”, said the Uncle. “The shocking things George said ate into your call time”, he told Steve before the break for commercials. After the break, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. It’s Friday. Coming up the Uncle Henry ‘Deal of the Week’ going on sale at 9:45”, said the Uncle before summoning the show’s call screener with his theme music. “Now let’s bring on one of the performers in the band Seduction Bomb Trey Lane. Trey Lane, good morning”, said the Uncle. “Good morning”, Trey responded. “Making a break from the Port Wine Stains and getting involved with Seduction Bomb”, said the Uncle. “We have a couple of new entries. We have one from ‘Neocon Rom’ and one from Crockett. We might have to get involved with Crockett later in the show”, the Uncle mentioned. “We had ‘The Tax Man’ chime in with a song about eating possum”, said the Uncle in reference to the caller formerly known as Jim the Tax Man. “Here we go. I’m going to be asking you for your professional opinion on this”, said the Uncle before playing the ridiculous song made “by request of ‘The Tax Man’ ”. After the song ended, “Wow!” Trey reacted. “So we have a song that was just ripped from the headlines. Just people looking at the economic conditions and wanting to eat possum”, said the Uncle. “He gets a hold of it and does it—does it hard, Henry. We need to challenge him more”, said Trey. “I tell you what: the idea with that he can take the possum eating challenge and turn it into a commentary on the state of the county is shocking and amazing”, said the Uncle. “I’m going to call you again for your assessment on a future segment”, he told Trey Lane. “It’s also about the economy”, our host said about the next song. “It’s amazing that two of our song writers, independent of each other, come up with songs about the economy”, said the Uncle. “So the hard times just producing some interesting work from like-minded people here on the Uncle Henry Show”, the Uncle concluded before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

Today’s 9:00 AM half-hour gets a 5/10!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Today’s Show




We start off today’s show with…


“The Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Beautiful day. Telephone number is (251) 479-2723, that’s 479-2723”, said the Uncle. “Let’s get right back to the phones and talk to Ben”, he said. “I have to add a third class for suggestion, there is a first class, a working class, and a dependent class”, said Ben. “It’s the dependent class what puts these people (politicians) in power”, Ben continued. “The more people who fail and pursue what the government will provide, the more votes they get”, said Ben. “Well thank you, Ben, I appreciate you listening and I appreciate you calling”, said the Uncle. “The classes at Mardi Gras and other special events like the GMAC Bowl and the Under Armour (Senior Bowl) football games”, said our next caller. “The vendors got to sell it (food) at a higher price to break even and the city is raking it in”, the caller continued. “That’s a lot!” said the Uncle after the caller mentioned 30% to 40% percent sales taxes on vendors. “I just want to let people know that it’s not the vendors”, said the caller. “Well, very good”, our host told the caller. “Thanks for the info. Let’s talk to Steve. Hello Steve”, said the Uncle. “I’m kind of looking at these AIG bonuses a little bit differently because the government knew these bonuses were coming out”, said Steve. “So this is some kind of political hypocrisy—a little political football”, Steve continued. “I don’t hate them because I do—because I can do their job, I’m not qualified, but I don’t see the guy sweeping the floor making as much money as the company. I don’t think the bailout should happen, I don’t we should bailout anyone”, Steve continued. “Right now we’re just going to prop them up”, said the Uncle. “I don’t understand this entitlement mentality”, Steve admitted. “When it comes to destroying the enemy, they’re going to stand with the enemy every single time”, Steve believes about one particular political party. “Let’s talk to ‘Top Cat’. Hello ‘Top Cat’ ”, said the Uncle. “Happy Thursday to you”, said ‘Top Cat’. “What do you got for us?” the Uncle asked. “Well, I got a bit of a different take”, said ‘Top Cat’. “You know I got to thinking, Uncle Henry, and I’m a talk radio freak. I’ve said that many times”, said Top Cat. “Besides having political conflict, we’ve got fundamental complex in that. We can’t trust our own government”, “Top Cat” continued. “Second of all, they don’t know nothing about economics”, said “Top Cat”. “If someone would ask them a question, they’re not going to tell you what they actually think, they’re [only] going to tell you what their party thinks”, “Top Cat” continued. “And I think, you know, the problem really comes between you and me”, said “Top Cat”. “Things look dire and dire to me. Things keep on going like that. There are a lot of people that don’t think they’re protective morally”, “Top Cat” continued. “There is a group meeting—let’s see, there is a local group meeting on the 30th at the public library in Mobile on Grelot Road”, said the Uncle. “Peacefully express their dismay of what’s going on”, the Uncle explained. “But people are becoming more politically active”, said the Uncle. “I believe we’re going to find out more about the character of the country and whether people will stand up or not”, the Uncle concluded. “Let’s talk to George. Hello George”, said the Uncle, whose caller surprised him with his usual machine gun sound effects. “With all due respect I understand his frustration, but the constitution is far from dead”, said George in response to the previous caller. “The only way for evil to triumph over good is for the good man to do nothing”, said George. “The main thing I want to point out is freedom of speech, oh no, they [have taken] Rush Limbaugh”, George continued. “They’re doing everything they can in this new world order is to take away your rights”, according to George. “I have mentioned the constitution a numeral of times in trials and I ask you, Uncle Henry, what power does a judge have over a jury?” said George. “Is this a trick question?” the Uncle asked. “This is one of your little tricks”, said the Uncle, who presumed it he was being put into a situation. “A judge has absolutely no power over a jury, he is strictly an observant”, said George. “Hey, by the way, I got noticed yesterday. I got a questionnaire. Hey Trey Lane, have you ever gotten a questionnaire?” said the Uncle, who was asking the show’s call screener. “So I’m very likely to be in a jury soon”, said the Uncle. “And I want to let everyone know that I’m very pro-death penalty”, the Uncle mentioned. “Trey Lane says this is some sort of conspiracy to get me off the show”, according to our host. “Uncle Henry Show continues”, he reminded listeners before the break for commercials. After the break, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. In the next half-hour of the show, who—what callers promised they will show up at today’s remote (broadcast) at Grady”, said the Uncle. “They will answer later in the show after the news”, he said before speaking to caller David. “He was a really good caller, but I will disrespect with a number of things he said about judges”, said David in response to caller George. “I haven’t been able to listen to you all morning, but I want to quickly talk to you about the Senior Bowl”, said David. “We had a call where someone claimed we didn’t have enough vice in the City of Mobile to keep the Senior Bowl”, the Uncle explained the voice message mentioned by David. “I almost wanted to call that guy”, said David, who admitted that the voice message “got my blood boiling”, as he described himself. “When it comes down to which city puts down the most decadence, I hope [we] lose”, said David if that were the case. “If it does stay, it just may be a little bit of a reality check”, David predicts. “Anyway we look at it, it’s going to be a good thing in the City of Mobile”, said David before leaving us. “For those of you who think we need casinos and strip clubs in the City of Mobile, we don’t need [them], we’ve had it (the Senior Bowl) for 59 years”, said the Uncle. “Mobile Arts and Sports Administration runs the game and the NFL says they don’t run it”, the Uncle continued. “It sounds like anybody in this country who wants to start their own version of it can do it”, according to the Uncle. “Anybody who wants to compete can start their own game”, he said after referring to the Pro Bowl football game in Hawaii. “When you look at the way the votes break down and you basically got the two coasts”, said our next caller Bob, who used the “coast of Florida” for example. “Basically we’ve got a country that is divided between people”, said Bob, who described one side as folks “who are basically brain dead from MTV and watching two much ‘American Idol’ ”. “It’s just like a mass of people who would just vote anyway they can [in order] to get something from the government”, according to Bob. “Why don’t we just take the whole west coast and maybe New York”, Bob suggested, and tell them, “Hey, you run the country”. “The free-market liberals are the socialists of the country”, according to Bob. “Really, when you look at what’s going on, how they’re running this country and the way they’re pushing socialism down our throats”, Bob continued. “Hey, we’ve all ready tried this”, said the Uncle. “It was the U. S. versus the Soviet Union”, the Uncle explained. “Let’s talk to Judy. Hello Judy”, he said to the next caller. “Your name was mentioned”, said Judy after listening to a national radio program. “Well, it was two callers from Mobile. Your second caller was Frank, I don’t know for the record if he’s called or not, but he said he’s listened to Uncle Henry”, said the Uncle. “Why thank you, Frank, and thanks to you, Judy”, said the Uncle. “News time is 9:32”, he said before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Who—who will be at Grady’s today, allegedly, we’ll find out in a moment”, said the Uncle before speaking to the next caller. “I sent a clip of Milton Freeman speaking to Phil Donahue”, said our next caller, who was using electronic mail. “I don’t think they’re teaching Milton Freeman in college today”, said the caller. “I wish some of the parents will call in and tell me what economics are being taught in government schools”, the caller continued. “I assume some of your listeners are parents of schooling-age children”, said the caller. “I did not watch the clip because it was Donahue and it was very difficult for me to stand Donahue. So it’s—now that you say it’s the utmost of importance, I will re-evaluate”, said the Uncle. “Gene Stallings, Gene Stallings of the Alabama Crimson Tide will be there (at Grady Automotive) from 2:00 until 5:00!” said the Uncle, who shouted the fellow’s name the second time he said. “As I mentioned, I will be leaving at the stroke of 4 o’clock”, said the Uncle, who will be taking his grandson home from school. “Make my way to that undisclosed school location”, the Uncle continued. “Now who else will be there, now you got me and Gene Stallings. Trey Lane will not be there”, said the Uncle. “It’s not in his job description”, he explained why the call screener is not attending. “He’s going to try to make it, so it’s a maybe”, our host said about frequent caller and listener Bill before playing a silly voice message from listener and frequent caller L. D. “L. D. coming out sometime in the 3 o’clock hour”, said the Uncle. “So you have the possible appearance of Bill and the definite appearance of L. D.”, according to the Uncle. “Do you remember the ‘I Love Hillary Clinton’ guy?” the Uncle asked his audience before playing a silly voice from the listener mentioned. “He’s claiming he’s going to be out. I’ve all ready added some extra security”, said the Uncle as the voice message continued to play. “I’m going to use the hand sanitizer as a form of mace”, said the Uncle. “There seems to be some sentimentally of radio station broadcasts where you don’t only hand out the Uncle Henry Show hand sanitzer”, according to the Uncle. “So we have L. D., the possibility of Bill”, said the Uncle as the voice message continued to play. “And we also requested Freddie to show up, so this could be one of the wildest broadcasts in the history of Clear Channel Radio today, so that’s from 2:00 to 4:00”, said the Uncle. “The Uncle Henry continues here on NewsRadio 710”, he reminded listeners before the break for commercials. After the break and a voice message, “All right, thank you very much for the phone call. Uncle Henry Show continues”, said the Uncle. “Tomorrow on the Uncle Henry Show we’re going to have an evaluation (of music)”, said the Uncle. “So it looks like a face-off”, he said about the two songs from frequent callers Crockett and “Neocon Ron”. “I’ll allow myself a little bit of frivolous in the evening", said the Uncle. After watching 90 minutes of news, “I allow myself to watch ‘American Idol’ and then I’ll watch Mel Showers and the liberal news media”, the Uncle explained. After the final break for today, “Uncle Henry Show concluding. Tommy’s on the line. Hello Tommy”, said the Uncle. “Good morning. Roll Tide, Uncle Henry!” said Tommy. “I wonder if there have been bonuses paid to organizations such as Acorn and National Endowment for the Arts and National Public Radio?” Tommy asked. “I think it is a lot of government subsidized organizations that are just caught the wing of the democrat party”, said Tommy. “I just want to see what money they’re getting”, Tommy wondered. “No one is”, the Uncle responded. “You’ve got to pull that between individuals and the government there protects that contract, not to interfere in it”, said Tommy before leaving us. “It’s like a dog chasing its tail. Thank you for listening”, said the Uncle. “Tomorrow morning at NewsRadio710.com the Uncle Henry Deal of the Week ”, said the Uncle. “That’s tomorrow morning at 9:45 at NewsRadio 710”, said the Uncle. “Going to save you some money on your victory garden”, he said near the end of the show.

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets a 5/10!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Today’s Show




We start off today’s show with…


“Uncle Henry Show proceeds—continues here on a beautiful, beautiful day here. We have fair skies”, said the Uncle before reminding listeners how to contact him by telephone and electronic mail. “Let’s talk to Adam. Hello there, Adam”, said the Uncle. “Look, I wanted to point out the bright and obvious that we’re not talking about”, said Adam. “Ladd-Peebles Stadium has been failing the meet the customers needs”, Adam continued. “The people that own the Senior Bowl have decided to they don’t like the conditions as Ladd-Peebles Stadium”, Adam explained. “We never even heard there was a possibility of losing the Senior Bowl that draws so much revenue to the state of Alabama”, said Adam. “I think you’re making an excellent point, we’ve gotten to the point”, said the Uncle. “Thank you for letting me speak my mind and I enjoy your show”, said Adam before leaving us. “Let’s talk to Chuck”, said the Uncle. “Uncle Henry, how are you doing?” Chuck asked. “I have a thing that concerns the Senior Bowl game is the Gulf Coast Classic”, said Chuck. “That fits right in”, Chuck said about the latter game’s name fitting into “Senior Bowl game” before our host suddenly played the song “My Love is Mobile” to match the song lyrics “Senior Bowl game” with “Gulf Coast Classic”. “Gulf Coast Classic!” said the Uncle as the song played. “Hey, you’re right!” said the Uncle in reference to the number of words in each football game. “Chuck pointing out that what I did not want to know is the Gulf Coast Classic, which is the [set] and financial mess”, said the Uncle. “It doesn’t have the ring to it, it doesn’t have the same ring do it”, the Uncle continued. “If we do lose the game, we need a replacement in the Mobile song”, said the Uncle before using a mechanical effect to signal listeners of him reaching into the electronic mailbox. “The e-mail subject line is ‘Song’ ”, said the Uncle before reading the very short message. “ ‘How about the USS Alabama’ and that’s from Guy—the USS Alabama—now that’s too many syllables”, said the Uncle before playing “My Love is Mobile” again to say match the words “Battleship Alabama” with the lyrics “Senior Bowl game”. “The battleship deserves a place in there, but it doesn’t fit over ‘Senior Bowl game’. (251) 479-2723 is the number. Let’s go talk to Tommy. Hello Tommy”, said the Uncle. “Take out Senior Bowl and put in Uncle Henry”, Tommy suggested for the song. “That would be too egotistical of me”, the Uncle responded. “Let’s talk to C. J. Hello C. J. Good morning”, he said to the next caller. “I just want to let you know that if you and your friends are family are auto enthusiast, there is a huge automotive show (in Pensacola, Florida)”, said C. J. “Free entry at the Pensacola Fairgrounds”, C. J. concluded before changing the subject. “Now a man of your caliber (a gardener)”, said C. J. “So we’re going to have a brand new government agency that checks your gardens”, C. J. predicts. “I think more people would be angry at that than anything the government does”, said the Uncle “if there were a march on Washington”. “It’s not so much more than the tattoo removal (funds)”, said C. J. “It is time for the people to do something if it’s not too late”, C. J. continued. “I do think it’s not too late, but the clock is ticking”, said the Uncle. “I’m really fearful for where our country is headed”, said C. J. “Praise the Lord and pass the bullets, Henry”, he said before leaving us. After the break for commercials and an angry, profane voice message, “Well, look, don’t be so quick to dismiss the contributions of people that weren’t in battle on the frontlines. These people went away from family”, said the Uncle, who was responding to the listener’s recorded message. “You didn’t see that, but that’s a big impact on their lives. Let’s talk to Jim. Hello Jim”, said the Uncle. “We’ve got Glenn Beck right now and so far we’re [pinned] to that”, our host told the caller. “All right, I’m respectfully going to say don’t [tell me] your favorite radio [show] that is not on [NewsRadio710]”, said the Uncle. “It doesn’t help for the Uncle Henry Show to advertise for other radio stations”, the Uncle continued. “All right, I apologize for that”, said Jim. “I’m going to give Freddie some credibility”, said Jim in reference to a frequent caller to the show before sharing a personal story. “It’s shocking for anyone in professional athletics who want to see strippers”, said the Uncle in response to the story. “I’m sure there were some people involved who wanted to see strippers in town, but that’s not the main concern”, said the Uncle. “Let’s talk to Burt. Hello Burt”, he said to the next caller. “I keep hearing callers saying we’ve got to do something, we’ve got to get organized in reference to business”, said Burt. “I haven’t really been involved in politics for that long”, said Burt. “I’ve never seen an administration come in and do so many different radical things”, Burt admitted since paying attention to presidential administrations “They have them voting on the stimulus bill without them reading it”, said Burt. “They only vote on what’s going on because it’s going so fast because the changes are radical”, Burt continued. “You have the most liberal president we’ve ever had along with a democrat majority in Congress”, said the Uncle. “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity”, our host believes. “I’m a veteran myself”, said Burt, who was not “wounded in combat”. “The fact that the money they want to take away, where do they actually want it to go?” Burt asked. “They’re taking away from the group, the combat wounded veterans to someone” who should not be in this country, according to Burt, who feels angry. “These things, there are so many directions you can go”, said Burt. “There’s no point to it, they’re going too fast with executive orders”, Burt continued. “God help us all”, said Burt. “I’m going to e-mail my congressmen as much as I can”, said Burt before guessing his message won’t be read. “They have too much going on”, Burt supposes. “Like I said, it’s a once in a lifetime like I said”, said the Uncle after reminding Burt “that’s how many people feel”. “The Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio710. We have news coming up, then after the news more show”, said the Uncle. “News time is 9:30 here on NewsRadio 710”, he said before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. With ‘Ask the Expert’ coming up after FOX News”, said the Uncle. “Let’s talk to Joe”, he said before the next caller. “Hello Uncle Henry, I am so angry with our president on what he wants to do with our veterans”, said Joe. “This man is disgusting, that is the most vile reprehensible thing I’ve ever heard”, Joe continued. “Well the guy went around during his campaign saying we better take care of our veterans”, said the Uncle. “He is a liar!” Joe shouted. “And Americans elected that man?” Joe asked. “It’s just not right”, said Joe. “He says if you’re wounded, pay for yourself. It’s just vile”, Joe continued. “You’re right, I [think] it is vile. I don’t think Congress is going to go along with it”, said the Uncle. “My son’s on active duty right now and so he’s all ready had three tours in the Iraq theater. What he’s banking on right now? I don’t know”, said Joe. “I’ve agreed with everything you said”, our host told Joe. “There’s got to be something we can do to stop this madness”, said Joe before leaving us. “You’re the second person to call me and describe it as madness”, said the Uncle. “Let’s talk to John. Hello John”, he said to the next caller. “First of all, I want to give a shout out to C. J.”, said John. “The real reason I’m calling, speaking of vets here”, said John before mentioning the Honor Flight program. “It’s going to be in May and another organization that’s going to assist (veterans to Washington, D. C.)”, said John. “And Joe was right, there”, said John before giving listeners the World Wide Web address for Honor Flight. “And those people that voted for change”, John mentioned before reminding them of the change Joe addressed. “I just find it really ironic how quickly things can change when it’s the president’s fault”, said our next caller . “I know exactly what you’re talking about, but I’ve got a feeling it’s going to be this way for the rest of our lives”, said the Uncle. “As for the AIG mess”, said the caller, who said, “I think a good president would see if this is a good slap in the face of the American people”, said the caller. “I would have thought the president would have stood and said this is wrong”, the caller continued. “He was upset about the bonuses”, our host told the caller about the president of the USA. “Just being upset about it ain’t good enough. He’s the chief executive and he can’t do something about it”, said the caller. “I thank you very much for the phone call. The Uncle Henry Show is proceeding”, said the Uncle before the break for commercials. “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710”, said the Uncle. “Let’s talk to George. Hello George”, he said to the next caller. “Well Unc—good morning, Uncle Henry. Excuse me”, said George, who was clearing his throat before using a machine gun sound effect in the background. “That bomb was the biggest bomb I’ve ever heard of”, said George after hearing the president of the USA drop a “bomb”. “Now I was the V. A. clinic, oh, a couple of weeks back and I turned around and I got a big shock, there was a guy with no arms—with prosthetics arms”, said George. “I said, ‘Wow, this is too much to give to your country’ ”, said George, who “went to the bathroom and cried”. “Now there are people in combat who haven’t been hurt badly”, said George before leaving us. “You know ‘Hollywood’ Barkley is in jail, right?” said our next caller Tim, who is also known as Sam Marston IV. “What they going to write about when Judge (Herman) Thomas and these two people (Frederick Barkley and Edmund Smith) go in jail?” Tim asked. “Someone told me that Cain Smith—(Edmund) Smith’s family has Snuffy Smith”, said Tim. “Look, also, I forgot to tell Trey Lane and the listeners”, Tim began. “Did you know that leprechaun hats and shirts” are on sale, Tim asked our host. “Shelby Mitchell of a station in this building has worn a Crichton Leprechaun shirt”, said the Uncle, who refused to say the call letters WKSJ-FM for the employee mentioned, all though they have the same employer. “There is no business that politicians should be working on in a private company”, said our next caller Lee. “I’m in agreement with you there that we are taking a complete restructuring of this country and big business being completely re-written”, said the Uncle. “We can take them back and stop this”, said Lee. “Thank you very much, I am in agreement with you assessment. The Uncle Henry Show concluding in the next segment here on NewsRadio 710”, said the Uncle before the break, including an advertisement with all-time caller Leroy’s “Roll Tide Roll” and a listener’s recorded message related to the commercial message. After the final break for today and a voice message, “I thank you for your—your attack on ‘Star Trek’ was unwarranted. The gay marriage thing happened outside of the show”, said the Uncle, who was responding to the listener’s recorded message. “After the watching the news for 90 minutes, I got so angry at it that I watched ‘American Idol’ and I thought of you”, our host told the show’s call screener Trey Lane. “I tuned in just in time to hear a complete weirdo playing Johnny Cash”, said the Uncle. “And I want your opinion on his treatment of ‘Ring of Fire’ ”, said the Uncle before playing audio of the performer on the TV program. “All right, Trey Lane, you’re the musician”, said the Uncle. “By the time it was over, I think it was bad”, said Trey. “The truth is never popular and that was probably—one of the [most] gratifying things about the show is calling bad when it is bad”, said the Uncle. “I want to thank you for listening. Remember to pray for other people and you will find all the answers you need within the pages of your Bible”, said the Uncle at the end of the show.

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets a 7/10!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Today’s Show




We start off today’s show with…


“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710 on Saint Patrick’s Day. Sixty degrees, partly cloudy skies”, said the Uncle. “By the way, L. D., look, the voice mails from Bill, they are only the tip of the ice berg. We have no idea what’s going within the confines of his home”, said the Uncle. “So please don’t rush to judgement. Telephone number is (251) 479-2723, that’s 479-2723 or the toll-free number from Harbor Communications is 1-888-360-WNTM”, said the Uncle. “There are a few news items that I didn’t get to cover in the last hour or the previous hours”, the Uncle admitted. “You may remember that the highway department or one of its officials said it was giddy (over stimulus funding)”, said the Uncle. “There is no Mobile County project on the April 10th bidding, but I’m sure Mobile County will be on some other bid date”, according to the Uncle. “I’m sure we have some rural listeners who love to live out in some rural areas”, he said before bringing to a news story to their attention. “It says here researchers say that most cows tend to orient themselves in a north-south alignment, did you know that”, said the Uncle. “It says here that power lines disorient the cows”, the Uncle continued. “So cows, I never thought the cow can be in tune with the magnetic lines of the Earth”, said the Uncle. “So that is absolutely useless information”, according to the Uncle. “I wonder what it can do [to] people?” the Uncle asked. “Let’s talk to Tim. Hello Tim”, he said to the caller also known as Sam Marston IV. “Did you see the story about the brain at 26-years-old and I think it starts falling off at age 27”, Tim asked without further explanation. “I just don’t understand how they get that”, said Tim after our host guessed “government grants” were used in the study. “You asked the wrong person”, said the Uncle. “Well, Senator (Richard) Shelby is going to be in town”, said Tim. “I have a few questions to ask that man”, Tim continued. “Isn’t that Honor Flight, isn’t Pete Riehm involved in that?” said Tim, who is interested in participating. “Of course it’s free to the veterans, but I can’t afford that ($400)”, said Tim. “Maybe you can find something—a scholarship [copy] somehow”, the Uncle suggested. “I guess the chaperone’s going to go on the trip somehow just like anyone else”, said Tim before leaving us. “Let’s talk to George. Hello George!” said the Uncle. “I will congratulate Rusty Johnston—Judge Rusty Johnston, he is the first Johnson—I’m sorry the first judge” to ban a judge from the court, said George. “Do you have an assistant?” the Uncle asked George. “He’s someone helping me”, said George. “You have someone telling you the name Rusty Johnson?” the Uncle asked. “That person is my wife”, said George, who admitted he has a problem with his brain due to age. “Have you allowed her to fire the machine gun?” the Uncle asked the caller known for having machine gun sound effects during his calls. After death, “She will automatically inherit it”, said George. “Once (again) we learn a little bit more about your situation”, said the Uncle. “I wonder how many callers have assistants? I need to get one”, said the Uncle. “You and I are very much alike”, the Uncle admitted to the previous caller about “getting stuck” mentally. “Let’s talk to Doyle. Hello Doyle”, said the Uncle before Doyle jokingly explained some noise last week. “The big boom everybody heard?” the Uncle asked Doyle. “That was the fall of the U. S. economy”, said Doyle. “First we had George who had an assistant that’s helping him out, now we have callers with their own [law] sources”, said the Uncle. “This is an outstanding 9 o’clock hour here on the Uncle Henry Show! Uncle Henry Show continues”, he said before the break for commercials, including an advertisement with a recording all-time caller Leroy’s shout of “Roll Tide Roll”. After the break and a ridiculous voice message, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. I don’t know—it’s Saint Patrick’s Day, but I’m risking my job”, said the Uncle, who was responding to the listener’s recorded message. “My boss has started listening to the show”, the Uncle admitted. “The ‘Tiny McNugget’ edition will perplex (the supervisor)”, said the Uncle. “Crockett, this is a last minute decision”, he told the voice message caller. “Let’s talk to Chuck. Hello Chuck”, said the Uncle. “We have many scientists that listen to this show, maybe one of them can call into the show”, our host told Chuck. “Uncle Henry, I truly believe we have a crazy man up there and I thank you”, said Chuck, who was probably referring to the president of the USA before leaving us. “All right, we lost Ray. Let’s talk to Steve. Hello Steve”, said the Uncle. “We’re suppose to sit down and shut up like they told us to sit down and shut up when (G. W.) Bush was in there”, said Steve. “I’m not a birth certificate conspiracy theorist”, Steve later mentioned in reference to the current president of the USA. “I’m telling you right now tuning your whistle will never sit you down and shut up”, said Steve. “There’s too little studying of the constitution and its founding”, according to Steve. “I don’t think you have to worry too much about dissent going way”, said the Uncle. “Thank you, Steve, for the phone call. Let’s talk to Cutt. Hello Cutt”, said the Uncle. “I want to comment about the American Foreign Legion and the president”, said Cutt. “The V. A. takes care of all their veterans’ needs, including the V. A. and service-connected needs”, Cutt continued. “But they have the right to go to a third-party insurer”, said Cutt. “Well, the American Legion is upset about a change in policy”, said the Uncle. “I don’t know about the details in the change”, Cutt admitted before explaining what he does know. “That’s all I have to say!” he said before leaving us. “The American Legion very upset about the change”, said the Uncle. “If they make this change from first-party insurance to third-party insurance”, he concluded before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

“Thank you, K.P., for the report. I’m glad some people can accomplish things when they put their mind to it. (251) 479-2723 is the number”, said the Uncle, who was responding to a listener’s voice message before speaking to the next live caller. “Anyway, the reason for my call is—I’m not going to say I have AIG insurance, I’m not happy about the bailout”, said the caller. “But most of those people (employees) are under contract (with AIG)”, the caller continued. “I appreciate you listening to the show, for calling in the show”, said the Uncle. “We talked a lot about the waste of tax dollars and Trey Lane has alerted me, he’s been in his call screening booth”, said the Uncle as he summons the show’s call screener with his theme music. “He hates it when we talk about politics”, said the Uncle before Trey Lane revealed a news story he found. “I believe the United Nations is holding a meeting on March 17th”, said Trey. “Why would they hold a meeting about ‘Battlestar Galactica?’ ” the Uncle asked. “Now is this the original version with Lorne Green?” the Uncle asked. “It’s the new version”, Trey responded. “Yes, they’re going to have a meeting and Whoopi Goldberg”, Trey explained. “I couldn’t have smoked enough drugs to make that up”, said Trey. “If they want to learn about war, go to Afghanistan”, said the Uncle. “This is my tax dollar going to this to study and talk to the creators of ‘Battlestar Galactica’ about—this is the stupidest thing about I’ve heard this hour”, said the Uncle. “Do you ever watch it?” the Uncle asked about the second version of “Battlestar Galactica. “I try to watch it”, said Trey. “It’s so serious”, Trey continued. “On this show, when confronted with tragedy and difficult circumstances, the people on this—and this happens on numerous occasions, they throw tantrums and throw things around”, said the Uncle. “We need to throw alcoholic beverages”, he said in a mocking tone of voice. “Well Trey, you have given [us] a real legitimate news item”, said the Uncle. “They also invented their own cuss words”, the Uncle mentioned from the TV series. “I never heard my parents curse when I grew up, but I heard made-up words. Maybe my parents are Cylon. The Uncle Henry Show continues on Saint Patrick’s Day”, said the Uncle before the break for commercials. After the break, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. I will be at Grady Thursday afternoon with Gene Stallings. I will be broadcasting (in the afternoon) at Grady”, said the Uncle. “That will be the perfect—hopefully meeting many of you as possible”, our host believes. “Many people are coming, I won’t tell you how many”, said the Uncle before seamlessly playing a listener’s voice message without warning. “Gene Stallings will be there, if he said he’s somewhere he’s going to be, he’s there!” said the Uncle, who did not reveal whether Trey Lane will be there or not. “Let’s talk to Frank. Hello Frank”, he said to the next caller. “My interpretation of a bonus is when you sign a contract, it is designed as a performance of a company and [it’s designed] as a performance of you”, said Frank. “We don’t know what a bonus is based on. We have to look at it—I feel sure if they didn’t sign up for bonuses, they wouldn’t have done it”, said the Uncle. “We have both not read the contracts, we don’t know if the contract that’s legally binding is legally binding”, said the Uncle. After listening to Frank, “A lot of people feel the same way of you do, but again these contracts are legally binding”, said the Uncle. “I hope that a contract is a contract. Let’s talk to Alias. Hello Alias”, said the Uncle. “How are you today?” Alias asked. “Y’all were still talking about AIG bonuses and I heard some news that is exactly why the government shouldn’t be involved”, said Alias. “Right now—and I have to repeat myself they are paying out—it looks like they are contractually obligated to pay [out] bonuses”, said the Uncle. “I left you a voice mail this morning”, Alias mentioned. “Thank you, Alias, I appreciate you listening on your way to your meeting. Let’s talk to Mark. Hello Mark”, said the Uncle. “Your last two callers were star on!” said Mark. “Hey thank you for listening. Thank you for calling”, our host told Mark. “It is Saint Patrick’s Day, so I have some listener-created Saint Patrick’s Day music”, said the Uncle. “I am risking my job”, he told listeners before the break. After the final break for today and a voice message, “All right, because it is Saint Patrick’s Day—“, said the Uncle before playing a silly song. “This is a Tiny Tim quality to it”, said the Uncle as the song played. “All right, let us—let that be the last appearance of ‘Tiny McNugget’ ever here on the Uncle Henry Show and Trey Lane’s shaking his head. Thank you for listening. Remember to pray and read that Bible”, said the Uncle at the end of the show.

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets a 6/10!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Today’s Show




We start off today’s show with…


“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. A beautiful, rainy Monday morning. Telephone number on the Uncle Henry Show for your calls is 479-2723, that’s 251 479-2723 or 479-2723. Toll-free number for those outside the local calling area provided by Harbor Communications is 1-888-360-WNTM. The e-mail address is unclehenry@newsradio710”, said the Uncle. “Trey Lane, is it [proper] to smoke a cigarette all the way down to the butt?” he asked the show’s call screener, “I don’t know anything about smoking”. “Two points if I might, one is the gentleman talking about that bill protecting home gardeners”, said today’s first caller. “Sell that product and put them in the food chain”, the caller mentioned, since he understands “where there is a need” for some oversight. “They have better luck getting their guns away from me”, said the caller. “Thanks for the phone call. 479-2723 is the number on the Uncle Henry Show. That’s 479-2723. The e-mail address is unclehenry@newsradio710.com. He mentioned gardening and two stories”, said the Uncle before bringing to our attention a related news article from the Associated Press. “Let’s see, National Gardening Association says an average garden yields $500 a year”, the Uncle read. “So it sounds like a very good investment and it can help your health out”, according to the Uncle. “So I can see—I can understand where there might be a move by the government being big brother to look over the shoulder and find out what we’re doing in our garden and find a way to make money out of it”, the Uncle concluded before using a mechanical sound effect signaling listeners of him reaching into the electronic mailbox. “We have an e-mail that arrived during the show. The subject line on the e-mail says ‘One-Line Sign [Along] the Highway’ ”, said the Uncle. After the message, “Great story in the Baldwin Register yesterday about one of the most commonly replaced signs in Baldwin County”, the Uncle mentioned. “Since we’re on a variety of topics, I have a health story for you: the researchers now say they’ve found a new indicator of future heart trouble”, said the Uncle. “If your collar is too tight on your neck, you might have future heart trouble”, the Uncle continued. “So if you have a fat neck, if your collar is too tight, you have the possibility of heart trouble. I wonder if it’s a safe indication that any part of you that has fat on it” there is a risk, said the Uncle. “You can probably get a government grant study on any part of the body”, the Uncle supposed. “The Uncle Henry Show continues. You’re listening to NewsRadio 710”, the Uncle reminded listeners before the break for commercials, including an advertisement with a recording of all-time caller Leroy’s shout of “Roll Tide Roll”. After the break and an angry voice message from a very irritable listener, “Thank you for your voice mail, L. D. The Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Here is a fuel story for you”, said the Uncle. “They think they’ve found the way to store and use lots and lots of energy in these batteries”, the Uncle continued. “So we might have a big breakthrough with these electric cars”, said the Uncle before describing such automobiles with electrical plugs. “It’s not practical for a lot of people that want to ride their electric car to say, Tuscaloosa to watch Alabama play”, said the Uncle, who also used Auburn, Alabama for example. “I’m a huge fan of Little Debbie snack cakes and I found out that the company that makes Little Debbie snack cakes is using a lot of money for their Little Debbie snack trucks”, said the Uncle. “They’re going to turn Little Debbie snack cakes into fuel”, the Uncle continued. “I need some more information on this because it just breaks my heart that there are Little Debbies being wasted”, said the Uncle. “I’m intrigued by this, I want to know what this (fuel) smells—”, the Uncle wondered. “So L. D., you are wondering about independence from foreign fuel”, said the Uncle before reminding listeners of the stories she shared. “Lots of stories today about the economy”, the Uncle began before mentioning an interview with the chairman of the Federal Reserve in Washington, D. C. on the TV program “60 Minutes”. “Meanwhile more outrage over AIG with the revelation that AIG getting government money, billions in government money”, said the Uncle, is paying bonuses. “Let’s talk to Judson. Hello Judson”, said the Uncle. “Hello there”, said Judson. “I’m fine”, said the Uncle. “It seems to me that accomplished people are talking about other accomplished people’s problems”, said Judson after “watching the news stations this morning”. “It seems to me that it would have been better off if they paid off and now they’re talking to another business”, said Judson. “The ultimate regulator is risk”, said the Uncle. “Now we’re eliminating risk”, according to the Uncle. “Government is not responsible for any of it”, said Judson. “It seems, unfortunately, we have proven it every year”, the Uncle responded. “I’m not outraged at the businesses, I’m outraged at the [congress] for giving money to it”, said Judson before leaving us. “Judson, very calm”, said the Uncle. “Many of us spread outrage with a shotgun”, the Uncle continued. “Judson, very specific in his outrage”, the Uncle concluded. “After the news, more Uncle Henry Show as we make our way through a very moist Monday morning. Looking forward to a very dry Saint Patrick’s Day”, he said before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. A wet Monday morning”, said the Uncle. “We have ‘Ask the Expert’ coming up after the 10 o’clock here on NewsRadio 710. Let’s talk to Clark. Hello Clark”, said the Uncle. “I’m out here in the rain here on Schillinger Road”, said Clark before asking about “The Savage Nation” with Michael “Savage” Wiener. “I’m just wondering what happened to his program?” Clark asked before learning the show “wasn’t doing enough ratings” for the station. “Now let’s talk to Ron Wallace! Hello Ron Wallace!” said the Uncle, who stressed the caller’s name with enthusiasm. “I will definitely be at the meeting tomorrow at Woodcock Elementary. That school has been around since 1949”, said Ron, who considers the school’s building historic. “I know they have—now that they have the crunch of students”, said Ron, “I think we need to work with our school board officials and city officials and county people”, Ron continued. “Maybe you can make an announcement on this meeting on the automatic phone system”, the Uncle suggested. “I don’t know, maybe that’s a good idea”, said Ron after a chuckle. “I will give my interest to the school board members with the ideas I think I have”, Ron promised. “We had Reggie Copeland on the phone using the city’s message system where they call your phone number is case of an emergency”, said the Uncle. “It’s for whatever the city feels like telling you about”, the Uncle continued. “Are there any guidelines or rules [on] how this message system is used? I thought it was for emergency—“, said the Uncle. “We were told we needed this to let people know if they need to be evacuated, so we spent money on this system to automatically [alert] the citizenry”, the Uncle continued. “I think it was first used to announce to tanker (airplane) deal”, according to the Uncle. “If we get another Alabamian on ‘American Idol’, can they use the system to call people to vote”, the Uncle asked. “Let’s talk to Tommy. Hello Tommy”, he said to the next caller. “What is the latest on the get-together for a tea party”, Tommy asked. “We still don’t have a firm date”, said the Uncle. “It’s most likely April 15th during the lunch hours”, he added before Tommy discussed the “global warming hoax” in relation to a particular political party. “This is a keystone to the whole strategy and refuting the hope that manmade global warming doesn’t exist”, said Tommy. “I need to go deeply into my National Geographic special report on global warming”, Tommy continued. “The CO2 heats the globe up, not the other way around”, said Tommy. “I haven’t looked at National Geographic since the 1960s”, the Uncle revealed. “Do they still have nudity in there?” he asked Tommy. “Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for impersonating one of the Three Tenors?” Tommy asked before leaving us. “Trey Lane liked that one. Trey Lane liked the musical jolt. Uncle Henry Show continues”, our host said about the show’s call screener before the break for commercials. After the break and a voice message, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Many people are pointing out that the new stimulus package will become more like Europe”, said the Uncle. “Europe has banned the terms ‘miss’ and ‘missus’ in case they offended female members of the European parliament”. “You think this is a joke”, the Uncle assumed about his listeners, “but it isn’t”. “You can’t use the term ‘manmade’. In substitute for ‘manmade’ is ‘synthetic’ and ‘artificial’ ”, said the Uncle. “They are still able to use the term midwife because they were unable to find a gender-neutral term”, the Uncle continued. “Scotland’s [parliament member] Strum Stevens describes it as political correctness gone mad”, said the Uncle. “Let’s talk to George. Hello George”, he said to the next caller. “Well good morning Uncle Henry. I just want to say that I’m doing the best I can to convince Lagniappe, one of the smaller magazines in Mobile”, said George, who used a machine gun sound effect as usual in his calls. “And Joe Kowalski, I can’t pronounce his name, but that’s the best I can do”, said George. “But I want this man to run for district attorney in this county”, said George, who is “really disappointed in our district attorney (John Tyson, Jr.) for ignoring this case (reported by Lagniappe)”. “He talks about fighting crime, well some crime”, George continued. “Do we have this, does anybody have this note where the FBI doesn’t [have] no interest in this?” George asked. “We need justice and that’s the only way a society” can function, said George. “And by the way, Lagniappe, boy, what a story! It’s not a societal magazine, it’s a quality—the investigative journalism in this magazine is fascinating, it’s unbelievable and I want this magazine to be rewarded a Pulitzer Prize”, George continued. “I know he’s not part of the status quo”, George said about Joe Kowalski, since he’s from Bayou La Batre, Alabama. “I want to thank you for your assessment of Lagniappe and Joe Kowalski as a quality person, also for your assessment of Bayou La Batre”, said the Uncle before the break. After the final break for today and the theme music from the TV program “CHiPs” in the background, “Uncle Henry Show out of time for today on this wonderful Monday”, said the Uncle. “It’s going to be a very good ‘Ask the Expert’. Thank you for listening today. Remember to pray, pray for others and when in doubt of what to do, you will find all the answers within the pages of your Bible”, he said at the end of the show.

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets a 7/10!

“More” - TV5 meteorologist John Nodar

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Today’s Show




We start off today’s show with…


“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. A lovely Thursday morning. Phone lines are open now to conversation”, said the Uncle before reminding listeners how to contact him by telephone. “That’s 479-2723 or 251 479-2723. Toll-free number from Harbor Communications is 1-888-360-WNTM, that’s 1-888-360-WNTM”, he reminded listeners. “The call screening is not very rigorous”, said the Uncle after realizing the show’s call screener Trey Lane took the wrong telephone number yesterday. “Really you don’t need to get into a fistfight with anyone, male or female”, our host responded to a listener’s voice message. “So, I understand it, you were upset standing in line (at Wal-Mart)”, said the Uncle. “Please do not precede in that fashion and I’m saying this for your own good. 479-2723 is the number. Let’s talk to Keith. Hello Keith”, said the Uncle. “Our federal government seems to be [hitting] against each other”, said Keith after hearing a caller from the previous hour of the show. “What do you think, Uncle Henry?” Keith asked. “They feel that government is the answer, that government is to perpetuate good”, said the Uncle based on anyone else listening to the show. “I know that sounds nebulous and not well-defined, but I have met people that said the same thing”, the Uncle continued. “It doesn’t seem to be working pretty good right now”, Keith responded. “I was looking at the Glenn Beck picture page on your website and I didn’t see a whole lot of pictures from Baldwin County”, said Keith. After Keith left us, “And you say, ‘Well Uncle Henry, you exaggerate what you said about government”, the Uncle assumed what listeners would ask him before responding to his own question. “Let’s talk to Thomas. Hello Thomas”, he said to the next caller. “My question to you Uncle Henry is this—probably the radio station”, said Thomas. “Everyone is talking about their aggravation, their ire about the federal government”, Thomas continued. “How can you not trust the government one hand and on the other hand cling on”, Thomas asked. “I understand what you’re saying. It’s a contradiction”, said the Uncle. “We can change the name of this program to Perplexion, hosted by Uncle Henry”, the Uncle suggested. “Just off hand I can count, counting myself, counting only three conservatives on this floor or this radio booth”, said the Uncle before counting employees who just “want to go home and watch TV”. After the break for commercials and a voice message, “Thank you. Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. Yes, that voice mail is worth thinking about as we are about to have many protests on April 15th in this country”, said the Uncle. “Let’s talk to Ben. Hello Ben!” he said to the next caller with enthusiasm. “Good morning, Uncle Henry. How are you, sir?” said Ben. “I know you can really answer the question. I think Senator (Jeff) Sessions and Senator (Richard) Shelby are two of the finest conservatives in the Senate and I’m glad they are from Alabama. Having said that, I’m very disappointed”, said Ben before explaining the faults of these fellows. “I still think they’re great conservative senators”, Ben concluded. “You know I don’t think we can get this country back, I don’t think ever that we’ll be able to obey the constitution”, said Ben. “What has this country done that might please God in the last 20 or 40 years?” Ben asked, “What might have we done that pleased God?” “But what does this country do to please God?” Ben continued. “I really, really want to answer this question in my heart”, said Ben. “If we don’t take our country back, we’ll lose it. I’ll leave it to you, Uncle Henry, what have we done to please God?” Ben concluded before leaving us. “Norman!” said the Uncle as “Norman’s Theme” seamlessly began to play in anticipation of a very frequent caller. “I was listening to what you said about Glenn Beck”, said Norman. “He gives time to both sides”, Norman said about the fellow and his TV program. “That’s not why a lot of us don’t like him”, according to Norman. “One another reason I called is have you seen those—and I don’t understand it”, said Norman, who struggled to explain himself. “Those Yella Fellow commercials. They’ve got some western things going on”, said Norman. “It’s like some sort of western serial, some kind of—apparently, a story line going on”, Norman continued. “It comes on during the news and it’s kind of distracting”, said Norman. “They show it on the news everyday”, according to Norman. “What news do you watch?” the Uncle asked. “Well, I watch NBC News”, said Norman, who specified “the news in the morning on (WPMI-TV Channel) 15” before “switching over to FOX” on the “local affiliate”. “You know I don’t watch the condescending bull, the condescending national stuff”, said Norman. After Norman left us, “The only caller with a theme composed about him”, said the Uncle as “Norman’s Theme” played again. “Yes, Norman, the only news I watch because we are partnered with WKRG News 5, I feel compelled to watch Mel Showers and Rose Ann Haven”, said the Uncle. “Uncle Henry Show continues”, he reminded listeners before the break for news, commercials, and station promotions.

“Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710. We have ‘Ask the Expert’ coming up in the 10 o’clock hour after the FOX News”, said the Uncle before promoting “The Rush Limbaugh Show” and “The Glenn Beck Program” on his radio station. “Let’s talk to Holly. Hello Holly. Good morning”, he said to the next caller. “Good morning, Uncle!” said Holly, who thanked our host for taking her suggestion to use the theme music from the TV program “Hawaii Five 0” as bumper music. “Also, I love the Norman theme. I think that’s an updated—kind of theme for an older guy”, said Holly. “Let’s talk to Ron. Hello Ron”, said the Uncle. “Roll Tide!” Ron shouted in a loud, irritating tone of voice. “I’m responding to Norman’s call”, said Ron. “I have seen that commercial all the time”, he said reference to the Yella Wood advertisements. “Now wait, the gunfight is over? Is the gunfight over rotten wood or they just don’t like each other?” our host asked about the commercials. “I want to say I see it on Channel 5 all the time. That’s all I have to say about it”, said Ron before leaving us. “I don’t remember seeing all those commercials during football season and I hate to admit this”, said the Uncle. “I use the commercial breaks as they’re intended but to go to the bathroom or go to the refrigerator”, the Uncle explained before speaking to caller Chuck. “I’m listening!” the Uncle shouted to Chuck. “Pardon?” Chuck asked. “I’m listening!” the Uncle repeated. “I enjoyed listening to Doctor Ben”, said Chuck in reference to a guest on the radio. “I think the question he asked and the question you asked they need to be [plastered] on a wall for all our leaders to see”, said the Uncle. After Chuck left us, “I know many times you have accused me of leaving the room during your call”, our host told Chuck before the next caller. “Does the website tell you what happens next (in the Yella Wood advertisements)?” the Uncle asked the caller. “It gives you the previous commercials”, said the caller. “It’s some nice prizes on there (the website). You go on there and list your name on there”, said the caller. “They have a new commercial every week”, the caller continued. “Fabulous prizes from the people that have the wood. Now you got my intrigued”, said the Uncle. “The Uncle Henry Show continues”, he said before the break for commercials. After the break and a voice message, “Uncle Henry Show continues here on NewsRadio 710”, said the Uncle. “I may throw out classic rock artists each and every day just to find out how you feel about them”, he said to the listener in the recorded message. “Do you have a anecdote about Bachman Overdrive”, the Uncle asked before speaking to caller Bob. “Gentleman called you a few minutes ago asking you questions about what have we done to please God”, said John. “The list was wrong”, the Uncle quickly said. “He needs to go sit down and look this thing over”, said John. “Most people learn this as they get to be a certain age, but this—we have been told to learn how to live a certain way”, said the Uncle. “Nationally it applies to your life, it applies to the company you work for, and it applies to your country. Uncle Henry Show continues”, he said before the break. After the final break for today and a ridiculous, mean-spirited voice message, “Well, young man, um, let me tell you something. I live there (in Fairhope) now, I was born there, I was raised there, I moved there, my entire family—my entire family lives there! No community is perfect, but your characterization of it is almost right. You’re right, there is a bunch of liberals there”, said the Uncle, who was responding to the listener’s recorded message. “But your characterization of it [there] is ridiculous!” the Uncle continued. “Let me get an outside perspective on this”, said the Uncle as he summons Trey Lane with his theme music. “Do you live in Fairhope?” the Uncle asked. “No, but I did grow up there”, Trey answered. “What’s this caller’s name?” Trey asked. “He’s mischaracterized Fairhope. Do you agree with this?” said the Uncle, whose call screener agreed with him. “And I haven’t noticed an overabundance of cats”, said the Uncle. “And there are a lot of feeble-minded women in Fairhope, I don’t know about homosexuals”, said Trey. “Don’t you dare say that about women in Fairhope!” the Uncle responded. “I have dated a lot of women in Fairhope”, Trey explained. “This guy has never called in saying anything nice”, he said about the listener in the recorded message. “I never knew you grew up there”, the Uncle admitted. “And people can check their high school yearbooks for Trey Lane”, said the Uncle. “In the early Nineties”, said Trey. “So there was actually a positive to this. All right, Trey Lane, thank you so much”, said the Uncle. “All right, out of time. Thank you for listening. Remember to pray and read your Bible”, he said at the end of the show.

Today’s 9 o’clock hour gets a 4/10!

Note of Interest:

Folks, due to personal business on Friday, posting will resume next week. Good day!

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